Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Wondering and Waiting

Tomorrow is our consult with RSC.  I’m nervous.  I’m nervous about meeting the doctor, which is insane.  I have no reason to be, it’s not like they are going to tell me anything new or different.  I had difficulty getting things from the Records department of Baystate over to RSC, they didn't include the embryologist report, which basically probably shows the grading of my embryos and quality.  Kinda important stuff.  This new doctor probably wants to know if it was my egg quality, which I don’t think it was.

We continue to get text from friends saying, baby is here…I always wonder when will that be us, when do we get that chance.  It makes me more sad than I can handle.  Even though I’m happy for those wonderful friends.  I just wish it were us.

I go and see my friend who had her IVF twins next week.  She has said she sometimes cries at night, I think that is normal, I think she may be overwhelmed and it’s a hard emotion to accept when you have dreamed of being a mom for the last four years.  So I get it and understand. I’m excited to see her. 

So, tomorrow…appointment is at 8.  It’s normally two hours long.  I have no expectations, but want to discuss all my possibilities.  I have to speak my mind and thoughts because that is part of this insane game.  You have to be your biggest cheerleader and completely pro-active. 


Until then……………

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