Sometimes I crack myself up. Which I guess is a good thing in this weird strange place of continual let down once a month. I took a pregnancy test this a.m. thinking I have been having weird stomach cramps every morning since ovulation, something I have felt I have never experienced before, so I tested, at 9 dpo. Silly I know, especially since I know how shameful this is. I know better. I guess I just really wanted to pee on something. Either way, stark white. I wasn’t expecting it not to be that’s for sure, I had no expectations. Just tired. But we weren’t trying super hard this month either.
A piece of information about myself, I’m addicted to reality TV…from the Kardashians to Real Housewives, I love them all and I can’t get enough. So I just finished the season finale of the Kardashians, the one where Kourtney pulls yet another baby directly outta her hoo-haa and Khloe finds out she isn’t ovulating. When I think about how bad I feel for Khloe I also think, bitch please. You are rich you aren’t ovulating, ovulating can be stimulated and you have unlimited funds to make a baby. It just sickens me. You aren’t me there is no struggle for you there isn’t a line that you can’t cross because you can’t afford further treatment. I mean, I feel bad, I definitely do. It sucks. I get it, but please, where is the struggle/stress for you? Go put on your $800 Louboutin’s and get some IVF.
So that is where I am right now. Appointment is still on for Monday. Our insurance covers everything up to IVF. Nervous as hell.
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