Meh...

I'm not sure how I am feeling lately, sad and depressed mostly.  I am still a little shocked that our first round of IVF didn't work, and I'm questioning the knowledge of the staff at BMC.  I know that is crazy, but it comes down to not thinking they really know when a transfer is suppose to be done, I feel like the timing wasn't right.  Just like right now.

After the first cycle I started my period on March 28th, I called the nurses and they said, we are actually going to count April 1st as cycle day one.  I thought that was weird.  Can your uterus really be ready for a transfer on the 22nd day after cycle day one?  I'm just confused.  Our insurance is maxed, we have reached our lifetime limit of $7500 in IVF costs, lol.  I knew that would happened.  And it looks like our of of pocket costs are the transfer (first time), blood work and u/s tomorrow for second round, and then our second transfer next week.  We also have to pay out of pocket for the anesthesiologist and the remaining cost of the retrieval the first time around.  Thank the good Lord above we had plenty of eggs to freeze.  So we will have to pay about six grand out of the pocket.  It's ok, and we have it, but then we have nothing.  And that stinks, but that's this life.  The sh*tty had I was dealt.  Why won't this work for us?  I don't get it. 

I'm wearing four estrogen patches now, four today until Weds and then four more than back down to two.  My levels must be pretty low for needing that many.  I may start taking baby aspirin tonight, see if that helps with the transfer and my lining.  Supposedly it thins the blood but provides more of it to your uterine lining.  I dunno.  Exhausted.