Monday, October 1, 2012

The Word Is Out

I told my dad and brother yesterday.  About everything.  I know this isn’t that drastic/terrible, I don’t have cancer.  But I can still mourn this right? I can still be upset and sad, right?  My dad just said I need to be healthy it’s my health I need to take care of.  He’s right.  I also let my boss know last Friday.  What a relief.  He wrote me a great email: I just want to make sure you know you have someone to talk to if needed.  I know you are not the sharing type, but if you need to, any stuff that we talk about is a one way street - comes in and doesn't go out.  

Having been "there" to some degree, I can certainly appreciate what is going on to say the least.  I will also say that these things always somehow work out in the end, you will just be taking a different path other than the traditional one.

Unless you say so, that's all I got for you besides my silent understanding and support.

It was completely unexpected but nice.  I had asked him if he and his wife ever got a second opinion, he said no.  I am in my head about this probably more than I should, but that is better than being on the internet reading every cringe worthy story out there. 

Hubby and I talked about our “plan”, he was under the impression that we would just be kid less, but I can’t picture that for either of us, he’d be a great dad.  So once the surgery is done and my tubes are good and flowing they way they should, we will try naturally on our own, I may do acupuncture to help, but I want to really try to do this on our own, we deserve a shot.  If that doesn’t work this time next year maybe we can try IVF.  However this will have to be discussed with our doctor.  I have a feeling though that this could come back and I will be pressured in to try IVF sooner rather than later. 

I don’t know.  I feel very alone.  H has been amazing, trying to keep me laughing and entertained, I love him.  He’s been great.  I’m so very lucky.

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